(Image source from: Freepik.com)

Relationships are not easy. They reflect everything we feel about ourselves. When you're having a bad day, it can seem difficult to those around you. If you're not happy with yourself, your relationships won't seem to work. If you've ever gotten into an argument and wondered what you're really angry about, this post might be helpful. If you've ever been disappointed because someone didn't meet your expectations, this post might also be helpful. Do you feel like you're not being heard when you walk? As you can imagine, there may be something here that can help change this situation. We don't live in a vacuum. We have thoughts and feelings that can be confusing. This also applies to others. And like in the movie “The Accident,” they don’t always collide smoothly. Here are some tips to build a peaceful relationship.

1. Do what you have to do.

Everyone has personal needs, whether it's going to the gym after work or relaxing alone on a Saturday morning. If someone asks you to do something and you instinctively respect that person's needs, do it. I'm not saying you shouldn't make sacrifices from time to time, but it's important to get into the habit of taking care of yourself.

Someone once said that a person is like a glass of water. If you don't do what is necessary to keep the glass full, you have to take it away from someone else, and then the glass is only half full. Fill your glass to feel complete and whole in your relationships.

2. Give people the benefit of the doubt when in doubt.

Suspect that your boyfriend is trying to hurt you by not inviting you out with his friends, or that your boyfriend is trying to make you feel inadequate by showing off his money. People who care about you want you to feel happy, even if they are too busy with their own problems to express it well.

Sometimes they can be annoying or mean. Stop acting like we're all angels. But that's not the norm. It's probably because they're getting hurt and don't know what to do about it. Maybe they'll feel bad and apologize later. If you want to gain goodwill, see the good in your loved ones and share that goodwill. When we start from the best, it is often an inspiration.

3. Look at your problems first.

If you are unhappy with yourself, you probably know that something is wrong with your relationship. If you blame others for your feelings, the solution lies with them. But that's actually flawed logic. First, it gives them full control. And second, the problem usually doesn't go away because the root cause isn't addressed.

Next time you feel the need to blame someone for how you feel about how they did or should have done something, ask yourself if something else is going on. You may find that there is something behind it. This is what you did or should have done yourself. When you take responsibility for a problem, you have the power to create a solution.

4. Be careful when projecting.

In psychology, projection means denying one's own characteristics and attributing them to the outside world or other people. For example, if you are not a loyal and trustworthy friend, you may think that your friend is doing everything to win you over. It is a defense mechanism to avoid the discomfort that comes with admitting your weakness. There is no quicker way to split a relationship.

It comes down to self-knowledge, and that is hard work. It's not cool to admit your mistakes, but if you don't, everyone around you will still see them. And you'll still get hurt. Next time you see something negative about someone, ask yourself if that applies to you too. Maybe not, but if so, identifying it can help bring peace to the relationship.

5. Choose your battle.

We all know someone who turns everything into a fight. If you ask her something, you can expect a discussion. If you comment on what they did, you'll probably get angry. Compliments can also lead to conflict. Some people just like to fight. Maybe to get rid of some of the negative feelings you have towards the world or yourself.

However, if you are worried about something, you should talk to someone. This is the only way to solve the problem. On the other hand, you don't have to worry about everything. If you're not sure what to say, ask yourself a few questions:

Does this happen to you often and make you feel nauseous?

Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things?

Can you empathize with their feelings instead of dealing with your own insecurities?

6. Stand with compassion and clarity.

When you attack someone, their natural instinct is to defend themselves and there is nothing you can do about it. It ends in a heated conversation where two people try their best to prove that they are right and the other is wrong. It's rare that everything is so black and white. Both have chances to score, but both are too stubborn to compete against each other in midfield.

When you treat others with compassion, they will open up to you. If you show them that you know where they're coming from, they may be more willing to stay with you. This gives you the opportunity to clearly express yourself and your expectations. And if you tell people what you need at the right time and in the right way, they are more likely to give it to you.

7. Don't be afraid to be weak.

There are different situations that make you feel weak in a relationship. This is when you express your feelings to someone. If you are honest with yourself and your past. When you admit you're wrong, we don't always do it because we want to maintain a sense of power.

Strength gives us a superficial sense of control, but true vulnerability gives us a sense of authenticity. That is love. It's about being authentic and allowing others to do the same without giving in to fear or criticism. Like Jimi Hendrix said. “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.”

8. Think before you act on your feelings.

That's the hardest thing for me. When we feel hurt, frustrated, or angry, we want to do something about it immediately, which is always a bad idea. I realized that my first emotional reaction doesn't always reflect how I really feel about something. At first you may be scared or angry, but when you calm down and think about it, you often realize that you overreacted.

If you feel strong emotions, try sitting for a while. Don't use it or run away from it, just feel it. Learning to notice your emotions before you act on them can help you minimize the negative emotions they generate in two ways. Process, analyze, and manage your feelings before forcing them on others. And communicate in a way that encourages them to remain open rather than closed.

9. Maintain boundaries.

As people get closer to each other, boundaries can become blurred. In a relationship without boundaries, the other person manipulates you into doing things you don't want to do. Instead of respecting your own needs, you act out of guilt. Someone made you angry without telling you how they felt. The best way to get people to treat you the way you want to be treated is to teach them.

This means that we must love and respect ourselves enough to recognize and express what we need. The only way to have a true love relationship is to start with a love relationship with yourself.

10. Enjoy participation rather than approval.

When you desperately need someone's approval, your relationship depends on what the other person does and how depressed you feel. Yes, and how much it alleviates your negative emotions. This is also frustrating for the other party and leads to an unbalanced relationship.

If you want to please someone or please them, know that you are the one who creates the desire. (Unless you are in an abusive relationship, in which case I highly recommend getting help.) Instead of focusing on what you can get from this person, please focus on having fun. Often the best thing you can do for yourself and the other person is to let go and allow yourself to smile.